As the subject states, not able to create MySQL functions is detrimental to my SaaS app. Yes, I can write the same in Python, BUT a function on the database is generally faster.
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Inability to create MySQL Functions is a Showstopper
We don't support anything that would require SUPER privileges, as MySQL databases run on a shared infrastructure. You should be able to create stored procedures, but not user defined functions. If you need the latter, you could try our Postgres db which gives much more flexibility (but it's an extra paid feature).
